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Dealing with church conflict
Concept of Conflict
Definition of Conflict
types of conflict
categories of conflicts
Responses to Conflict
Emotions and conflict
Insights to Conflict
terms used in conflict
Perception and Conflict
Family Systems & Conflict
Impact of Conflict
Functional and Dysfunctional Conflict
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Why This Manual
This Manual is the product
of the author’s observation of various conflicts in his life and also in the churches he has served or attended.
The goal of this manual is to enable the church Minister/Leader to identify, synthesise, complement, teach
and enable conflict transformation in churches they minister. It has been a challenge for me to try to capture the richness
and diversity of approaches and opinions on conflict management and present them in an accessible and succinct format. I believe
that the Manual makes a useful and relevant contribution to practice.
I welcome feedback on what is helpful in the Manual as well as
what requires change or further elaboration. Working for better practice by its very nature is always work in progress, with
no room for complacency. There should be
a desire for improved guidance and to share knowledge, methods, approaches and tools amongst ministers and church leaders. This will enable a mutual capacity building,
reflection, research and learning in the
pursuit of better practice.
This Manual marks the beginning of a process, rather
than the end. It is a contribution to an emerging field. It is also a snapshot in time; the field is developing extremely
rapidly. Some elements of the Manual describe or synthesise current
experience with particular issues in the field of teaching or applying education. Other components identify knowledge or understanding.The purpose of this
manual is to make an objective- based approach to dealing with conflict more widely available to church leaders.
This
Manual is primarily directed to ministers and church leaders and others who are faced on a daily basis by conflicts in the
course of their ministry. Many of the concepts can also be of value to those seeking better understanding and solving their
own interpersonal or intrapersonal discords.
Conflict seem to reflect almost universal
patterns; in other words, even though every conflict is unique, a conflict that happens in one congregation in Nairobi, Kenya
may be similar to a conflict that happens in another congregation in Birmingham Alabama. When a conflict rises in a congregation,
unresolved conflicts from previous generations often surface to block a resolution. We
live in a troubled world where we hear of conflicts near and far. Interpersonal and intrapersonal play a huge role in
most conflicts. This manual will therefore provide ministers and church leaders a tool to facilitate the resolution of
various interpersonal conflicts.
In Matthew 18, Jesus instructs us
on how to handle conflict within the church. Without the attention to wholeness of the relationship in the church, church
members will find themselves without a base or model for resolving conflict and maintaining peace and in our congregations.
It is my
proposal and that is the reason of writing this manual that church leaders need to strengthen the study of Conflict and how
to deal with it.
The church is no stranger to conflict, and out of conflict have come some
of the great doctrinal statements, mission strategies, and kingdom accomplishments. Not all conflict produces positive
benefits unfortunately, but skilled church leaders can lead a church to a mutually-beneficial outcome when conflict arises.
While church
leaders usually think of church conflict as bad, conflict can produce benefits. By Learning how to deal with Conflict, Ministers will: Understand that Working with conflict
is a normal and even a spiritual work Develop the capacity to discern the nature
of conflict. Acquire the discipline and the skill to deal with conflict as individuals
and within the congregation. Explore ways to nurture healing, to right injustices and to promote reconciliation
Dr. David Augsburger, professor at Fuller Seminary, recently shared “what people want in conflict.”
Here’s his list: - Voice. Church dissidents
often just want to be heard. Like a child who isn’t getting attention by being good, dissidents can get attention
quickly by creating conflict. The saying “the squeaking wheel gets the grease” has its basis in this idea.
People want to be heard and have their ideas, feelings, concerns, and opinions valued. No one expects to win all the
time, but everyone needs to have their voice heard. The benefit of conflict is that all voices get heard.
- Vindication. Sometimes people who have been prescient, or prophetic,
or just insightful need to have that insight vindicated. The church needs to acknowledge they are right, if they are,
and conflict provides the platform for their case to be made. Vindication is a benefit to both the vindicators and the
vindicated — one acknowledges the important contribution of another.
- Validation. “You have a valid point” is music to the ears of those in the minority.
Not only do people want their voices heard, they want their position acknowledged. This is different from vindication
because validation does not mean agreement, only recognition. A church benefits when others can acknowledge that their
viewpoints differ, and that the opposing viewpoints have validity, too.
- Process. Conflict can produce a process for dealing with issues, assuring that future issues will not be swept
under the rug. This process which some call justice is a guarantee that the voices of all, not just the powerful, will
be heard in the future.
- Impact. Conflict can result
in something being done. Old wrongs can be righted which is what the apostles did in Acts 6 when they ended discrimination
of the Greek-speaking widows by appointing “servants” to distribute the food equitably. Conflict should
produce the benefit of positive impact.
- Safety. The
minority view might be heard, but if they are treated differently because of their dissent, then conflict starts all over
again. Those in conflict need to know that when the problem is resolved, community is strengthened, and we go forward
with the guarantees of future safety in place. The whistleblowers who speak out are often ostracized in government and
business. For conflict to produce a benefit, those who speak out must be able to do so from a position of safety.
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